Lysol Victory Cookbook...Just For You!

For the frugal minded out there...

...knock yourselves out!

And don't skimp on the Peanut-Honey Pudding!!

Four-Nineteen A Go-Go

It's my birthday and I'll go-go if I want to....

but what I'd really love for my birthday is if you all go-go'd along with me!  I've chosen some of my most fave dance music and crammed it all together into a small computerized package (how present-day-futuristic of me, I know!) so that we can all get down and groovy together!  

What we've got here in this mix is a mish-mash of stuff that I've had in my possession for a while, as well as stuff I have procured from the friendly music bloggers that I have had the good fortune to find throughout the last couple of years.  I can't tell you how geeked I am to have these peeps on my radar, and I'd like to put them somewhere within the reach of your radar too, if you'll let me.  

Most of the tracks listed below belong to a larger collection (album or comp) that some groovy someone posted on their very own blog, so I have provided you, my rabid, foamy-mouthed reader, with a few options....

1)  check out the links below on the song name for each track - most (not all) of those are links to the you tube video for that song.  That way you can decide if you want to even download anything here.

2) check out the links on the artist name for each track and/or the album name.  Each of these links goes to EITHER the full album download OR some info about the artist (or the dead link from the blog I originally got the album from - more about that down below)

3) check out the Birthday A Go Go links below and get, what I consider to be THE BEST dance mix of the year.  And I'm sure you will all agree!  Ok - well, most of you...well, I guess a few of you will like it.....alright, alright - I agree.  I love this music, and I really don't care if you don't - but I hope you do!!!

4) keep reading down below the tracklist for some other non-dance-mix, but birthday-gift related links, just for you!

Now, I will tell you that there is a very wide variety of music here ranging from old to contemporary and it's all from a bunch of different countries.  So prepare yourself.  And by that I mean rub yourself down with a jar of Nutella or some olive oil scented with exotic perfumes...and commence with the dance party!!!

TRACKLIST

1. Flowers - Various Artists - Russ Meyer Original Motion Picture Soundtracks: Motor Psycho/Mudhoney/Finders Keepsers Lovers Weepers  Groovy movie audio track to get you in the mood.

2. Gangster Story - Guido & Maurizio De Angelis - The Inferno Music Crypt Presents Quentin Tarantino's "Death Proof" - Stuntman Mike's Mix (Side B)

3. Masa Remadja - The Friendly Group Aria - Bersemi Lagi  To be honest I could have made the entire  dance mix just this song 29 times and been perfectly happy :)

4. Blackula - Jacks - Samakos9 Presents - Garage For Sale Vol.2

5. B1 - TLP-9906

6. We Got Some (Part 1 & 2) - Chris Joss - Presents Monomaniacs Volume 1

7. Nakra D&B Mix (Heavy) - Achanak - 20 Years Of Bhangra

8. Trouble - Lada Edmund Jr.

9. The Hellraisers - Syd Dale - Spider-Man From The KPM Vaults

10. Bee Charmer - Esrevnoc - EB - Esrevnoc Better

11. Pee Sod Sing Sing (really, I'm single) - Sornchai Makaweechia  The scan of this 45 alone (topmost 45 pic up there) is worth more to me than my weight in gold, but the song is good too.

12. Go On Then - Gunilla Thorn

13. Chak Chai Thueng Chai - Don Sonrabiap - Rong Thang Chut   Here's the (video for original version of this Thai disco cover)   I think I could listen to this song 29 times in a row too.  No foolin.

14. Laisse Tomber Les Filles - April March - The Inferno Music Crypt Presents Quentin Tarantino's "Death Proof" - Stuntman Mike's Mix (Side B)

15. Lagu2 Tonic Chop Gajah - Oleh Sangam Boys - Tonic Chop Gajah  This song may not be on here 29 times - but it will feel like it after it gets stuck in your head :)

16. The Chinese Association - Joey Boy - Thailand Rap Hit

17. Russian Roulette - Nevegans - Surf Creature 1

18. Jogi - Panjabi MC - Beware

19. Si Perusuh - Ernie Djohan - Disco   Here's the (video for original version of this Indonesian cover), I'm pretty sure, but the funny thing is is all of Boney M's songs kinda sound the same so it could actually be any one of these.  But I'm pretty sure it's Ma Baker.  There's another Boney M cover on the full album.

20. Sister Sister - Seagull Screaming Kiss Her Kiss Her - 17

21. 3 - Maurice Patton and the Melodians - tke2222

22. The Protest - Gayamyan 假音人 - My Dream My Way My Indie Music Rebecca Pan 潘廸華

23. Diodo - Blue Phantom - Distortions

24. G'ed Up Ride - dj BC/Snoop Dog/The Vines - Illicious Boots Vol. 1

25. Dip Again - Elephant Man ft. Ding Dong

26. 风生水起 - Fama - 農夫 - Wind and Water Rising - 风生水起  I have listened to this song at the VERY LEAST 29 times - and I'm still listening.

27. Stand Up Dance (Glassbreaks mix) - dj BC/Dizzee Rascal/Philip Glass - Glassbreaks

28. 1 - Maurice Patton and the Melodians with Chai Chen - tke2274

29. Unknown Bollywood Movie - If anyone knows what movie this song is from please, please tell me.

Now, if you made it this far you either a) skipped ahead or b) made it all the way through the maze of links and your head is swimming with all kinds of groovy goodness right now and/or c) you found some dead links and were all WHAT UP?!?!

Yeah, I know.  It's such a bummer to find dead links, especially when you find something you are sooo geeked about that your heart starts pounding and you start breathing really really heavy (and that's what I'm guessing happened to you when you got to either the Hellraisers video or the Boney M mega mix or the Joey Boy or Fama songs - I know how powerful they all are).

Unfortunately many many links are dead these days - and one of my most favorite blogs, Funky Frolic, just had the shit kicked out of his Mediafire account and all of his precious, groovy, insanely cool Mediafire links are dead.  The reason I linked to him is because he gives really great info on the music he posts and he is just a really cool guy - and I totally think you should spend some time over there.  Dead links or no.  And he's still posting stuff too!

Anyways, one of my most favorite things I have downloaded, not only from his site, but EVER, is this Trunk cd called Dirty Fan Male.  It's some dudes reading a bunch of letters that had been written to porn stars and Page 3 girls, and in funny voices.  If you download anything today, and you are adult-content minded like me, DOWNLOAD THIS!!!!  I have uploaded my own copy that I got from Funky Frolic - and I hope you don't mind Mr. Craig.  I just can't let this one sit idly by and not be listened to!!  And when you do, you must pay very close attention to Martin.

So, if you come across dead links up there, and there is no other source posted, and you want it real real bad, you're gonna have to find your own source (or whisper to me what you want in my ear and I may upload it here - but that's not really my thing right now, so you'll have to be real nice).

Next up, I'm just going to provide links to other stuff I have uploads of (like the nudie card deck, the Derriere Mag (vintage butts), and the Peter Pan Record) that I'm just gonna provide here all together.  In fact I'll just make it all neat and orderly for you...

Birthday A Go-Go Dance Mix Titled "Allow for the Swinging Rear" PART 1 Zip PART 2  Zip (I moved this baby to two Mediafire links in order to increase your timely-good-times feels and reduce your this-is-taking-forever feebangs) (also - I reimported the mix into itunes and it went in all out of order (why does it do that?) and I did have a flow in mind when I made it - but if it doesn't flow, it doesn't flow.  there's not much I can do about it.  And your flow may not be my flow anyways.  The files of the tracks are all numbered and the tracks are numbered in itunes - so, what-freaking-ev, itunes.)  (also #2 - all but one track have their original album art attached - but if you want the cover I made to be attached and you don't know how to do it just let me know and I can give you the 411 on that :) )

Dirty Fan Male (same link as when I screamed DOWNLOAD THIS!!! at you a couple seconds ago)

Nudie Card Deck

Derriere Magazine Issue No 1 (most of, but not the full mag)

Peter Pan Rocking Horse Children's Record

Now this is what I call a mother-flipping birthday present!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you to everyone involved in making this birthday dance mix!!!!!!!!  XOXO!



Now go GO-GO!!!!!!

Sprout Sauce!!

Yeah, I know.  That wasn't as exciting of a title as I was trying to make it out to be.  I was trying to get you all excited over something besides sex tubs but I don't know if that's gonna happen.  And I don't think there is a blog post title anywhere will even come close to being as exciting as the title of my last post was for pretty much every single person on the face of the earth.  At least not till I do another sex tub post, that is.  (I know that got you really really excited and all, but you're just gonna have to keep your cool till that post comes around.  Be cool....and focus on the sprout sauce.)

What I wanna talk about today is something I came up with all by myself after looking around for something similar and coming up with no dice.  Can "no dice" be used in the way I just used it?  It seems simultaneously right and wrong.  I'm gonna go with it cause I don't think I've ever written anything that used that phrase before and I kinda like it.

Something I'm pretty obsessed with is green sauce.  You can find different varieties originating from different countries across the globe, and they all have their differences and their similarities.  There's coriander chutney from India, chimichurri from Argentina (as well as many other South American countries - and I've had it in a few Cuban restaurants), salsa verde from Italy and yadda yadda yadda.  They all have some kind of parsley-like green that is blended with garlic or onions, or both, a souring agent (vinegar, lemon, lime) and then some other stuff.  And I put it on pretty much everything.

I usually make mine with whatever I have on hand (parsley or cilantro), then add both onions and garlic, lemon or lime juice, salt, red pepper flakes and cumin.  That's just the way I like it.  You can also add oil and/or water to thin it a bit, and I ALWAYS use the stems.  I read somewhere that stems make the sauce bitter, but I have never noticed that - and you get way more volume.  I have a Vitamix (xoxo) and it purees things up real nize.

So, the other day I found that I had a very small amount of cilantro in my fridge, and a huge amount of spouts and I wondered if anything bad would happen if I replaced some of the cilantro quotient of the recipe with sprouts and all I could find online was some crappy brussel sprout sauce.  To put on the brussel sprouts, not to make with them.

So, I just did it, and guess what.  It's really really good.

I don't know if any of you out there are into smoothies or raw foods or whatever - but if you are, and you like green smoothies, and you have a bunch of extra sprouts laying around, you may have, at some point, attempted to make a green smoothie with your sprouts, like I did.  And I'll tell you right now, if that wasn't you that made the green sprout smoothie, that it's not really that good.  I like the green smoothies with the chard and beet greens and sometimes a little kale or collards and I even like the dandelion greens in my green smoothie - but there is just something about the sprouts that tastes way way too sprouty.  Maybe I used too much sprouts, I don't know.  I haven't really wanted to try it again to find out.  That's where my sprout sauce trepidation came from.  I didn't just want to feel like I was eating a pureed sprout salad.

I figure it's the combo of the cilantro (which has a pretty strong flavor) and the onion, garlic, lime and cumin that sort of detracts from any excessive sproutiness, although I will say that if you're someone who shies away from hot foods, the radish sprouts do jack up the heat a bit.

This is also a great way to use up sprouts that you may have accidentally let get green for too long and that got a little too chewy.

So here I will give you an actual recipe in recipe format so that you can do what I did.  But please feel free to tweak the hell out of it - cause that's what life is all about.

Sprout Sauce

1/2 bunch of cilantro
2 cups mixed sprouts (mixed sprout seed mix + extra lentil seeds)
1/4 of a large onion
2 cloves garlic
juice of 1 lime
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cumin
1/2 tsp red pepper flakes (but remember the radish sprout warning)
1/4 c water - give or take

Put everything in Vitamix or blender or food processor without the water and blend, adding water as you go to get the consistency you want.

I LOVE this sauce on over easy eggs.  LOVE.  But it's also soooo good on any kind of meat or vegetable and is soooo good with Indian food.  So good.

And now I'd like to take this opportunity to bring everyone's attention to two very important videos.  Please watch these videos at least once.  Then watch them again many many times.

The first one is kinda wacko, in a mellow sort of way, and it will help to gear you up for the main attraction, which is the second video.  That video, I know, is going to freak your shit so much that you won't be able to watch anything else for like, and hour afterwords.  You'll just want to watch it over and over, like me.  So don't go jumping ahead and ruin the flow.

↵ Use original player

Nino Tempo & April Stevens--Land Of 1000 Dances

By jimc1389

YouTube

• 360p
• 240p FLV

← Replay

X

i

Get ready....

↵ Use original player

It's My Challenge - Govinda

By tolevna

YouTube

• 360p
• 240p FLV

← Replay

X

i

Time to smoke a cigarette.....

Sex Tub/Sextub/Sex in Tub

I'm pretty much a lo-fi novice when it comes to this blogging stuff.  I've been doing this for somewhere over 2 years - but calculating is one of my weakest areas, so I'll just leave that to the experts - and I am WAY still figuring it all out as I go.  Like, WAY.  I have, however, taken the time to check the "stats" on occasion (for those way more out-of-the-know than me it's a place blogger takes you to and whispers in your ear all the things you want to hear about how many people are viewing your blog and what country they are from) and am usually filled with a jumble of feelings ranging from "cool!" to "who cares", then back to "really?" and usually with a whole lot of "WTF?" thrown in.

There are a couple of very closely related areas of WTF in blogger stats that I'd like to take the time to address here.  I'll start with the less obvious but most perplexing WTF to a lo-fi type like myself.

When you scroll all the way to the bottom of one of the stats pages that tells you where your traffic is coming from you get a list of search phrases that led some random schmo to your realm.  I've seen many a blogger poke fun at these search terms - cause they is usually pretty crazayzay (and btw that is the more obvious WTF that I am going to address next - just in case you were sitting there wringing your hands wondering what insanely ridiculous search terms have led unsuspecting saps to my little love trap/craft realm) so I get a kick out of reading them every once in a while.  But one day I decided to actually google one of the phrases myself to see where my blog actually stacked up.  I chose a pretty innocuous search - Jerry Lewis - cause I saw that someone got to me via that route and I did remember this fabulous pic I posted a long time ago of a children's album that he did where on the cover it seriously looks like about to give a sugar dispenser the once over.  So I searched and searched and searched and....nothing.  After pages and pages of other crap I, Craftypants Carol, was nowhere to be found.  Even after going to an "images" search...nothing.  Then a "blogs" search....nothing.

So, my question is...WTF?  In what manner did this person get to my blog?  Is blogger lying to me?  Are those times viewed numbers and search terms I'm getting spoon fed a bunch of sweet talk to get me to take my top off?  What gives?

But some of those search terms just couldn't be made up.  They are just too bizarre - and seemingly only make sense to one person on this entire planet.  The other day, someone reached out and touched my blog by typing in the words "gf sex 78."  Yes, they did.  At least that's what blogger told me.  It's entirely possible that blogger thought that if I saw the search phrase "gf sex 78" I would rip all my clothes off - but I do not know that for sure.

What I would like to know is...what on my blog screams "gf sex 78?"  What?  What does it even mean?  I completely understand why some folks wind up here when they are looking for some "sex tub" 411 (although, again, I googled "sex tub" and got no Craftypants Carol anything.  nothing.) because I did do that New Year's post with the really awesome spaghetti sex tub, so that does make sense.  And while we're on the subject - there are A LOT of people out there looking for some sex tub info.  Not only is the spaghetti sex tub post one of my all time most hit upon posts, but there is always some form of sex tub, sextub, sex in a tub search that someone has done every single time I check the search terms area.  And btw - what IS a sex tub?  I couldn't find one.  And I looked.  Maybe that's why there are so many sex tub/sextub searches - cause the people are not getting what they want. And apparently they want sex tubs.

I did notice, however, during my sex tub search, that there is a thing called sex tube - where I'm guessing you can watch pornos on a small, you tube sized screen.  And it makes me sad to think that that is what these people are really after, cause that means that a whole lot of people don't know how to spell tube.  I prefer to imagine them searching for some sexy 70s tub related photos like these - and that they are pleasantly surprised when they stumble upon my spaghetti sex tub New Year's post.

Another really really interesting search term I noticed recently was "happily offering every one sex."  I would really like to know what that person was looking for.  Were they searching for a person who would happily offer everyone sex?  Like a personals ad?  Or was it a specific movie?  Or a photo?  Although I don't really know how one could convey those exact sentiments in a photo.  Unless it was a photo of a person wearing a t-shirt that says "I happily offer everyone sex."  Or maybe a photo of one of those olde timey cigarette girls with a box - only there's nothing in the box - and she's naked.  That might get the point across.

And apparently a naked woman eating spaghetti gets someone going - cause my blog was visited by someone looking for that EXACT thing.  Go figure.  I just realized that I have two entire posts with naked women and spaghetti.  Interesting.  I have been meaning to do some food/sex or food/nakedness posts for a while now.  I'm gonna have to get on that.  Maybe make it a regular feature (which by the looks of things means once a year).

So what have I learned from all of this?  What of value can be taken away from all this sex tub rambling?  I think we all know the answer to that question.  Sex tubs RULE!!!!!!!


Everyone into the sex tub!!!!

Most Awesome Sex Tub Ever

Is There a Black and White TV on Around Here or Somethin?

I suppose if you're under the age of, like, 40, you don't know what a black and white TV is.

Too bad for you.

And I guess unless you're inside my brain like I am you don't know what the idea of a black and white TV being on somewhere in the house does to me.  It does a lot.  I won't go into the details of my weird black and white TV fixation, but I'll just say that it involves a fantasy of laying on a single bed in a SRO hotel and watching one.

The reason I'm posting this here goodness is partly cause I haven't posted anything in a while, partly cause I was doing a bit of reupping (yes, I DID say reupping - am I good or what?!?), partly cause I really dig this soundtrack, partly cause I would like to pass on some groovyness to my loved ones and those that love me, and partly cause there's lots of boobies to be had by everyone involved.

But the main reason I chose to share this particular download (it's not mine - I'll direct you to it in a sec.  Just keep your pants on) is cause I was listening to it the other day and I TOTALLY got that vibe that there was a black and white TV on somewhere.  I mean it would have had to have been really small and, like, in a cupboard or something in order for me not to see it - but seriously - I was in heaven.  The thing that's so great about this particular soundtrack is that there is dialogue scattered amongst the really really groovy music, and it's so corny and just plain old black and white TV sounding and it is just sooo cool.  I really wish there were more soundtracks exactly like this.

So, if you want to be transported back to the days of yore, when the TVs were giant hulking squares (or teeny squares, as the case may be with the portable models.  I actually had a Sony Watchman when I was in high school - which would be like watching a black and white You Tube video in the palm of your hand) or if you want to pretend that you are staying at an old timey flop-house SRO and have just settled down for the evening with your box of Chinese take-out on your stained single mattress to watch an episode of Perry Mason (xoxo), then BY ALL MEANS go HERE.


Forgot these...