Sunday, February 27, 2011

Aged Fermented Nut Cheese - Everything You Ever Wanted To Know

Ok - so after typing out the directions twice in two days for my aged, fermented nut cheese, I decided to tell the world about it, which also includes a long winded story of the trials and tribulations of my query and the final result of all of my deductions and suppositions.  

Unfortunately I have no pics as this is a rush job.  Ok - I'll give you a pic so you have something visual to anchor yourself with



Ok - so for a year or so now I have been gathering information from various sources about lacto fermentation.  It is quite the rage now-a-days, and I won't go into all the particulars here cause all you have to do it google it and you will be spoon fed much info from blogs and books and whatnot.  My family has been lacto fermenting pickles for generations (old world eastern European style), so I had some background, which helped with the fear of death that I think a lot of people who are new to this experience.  I mean there's all the botulism fear and the USDA who scares the CRAP out of people with all their rules, but I digress - cause if you want to know about that you can google that too.

Between Wild Fermentation, a book where rampant experimentation is king; Preserving Food Without Freezing or Canning, a fabulous collection of old world French lacto preservation methods ; and Nourishing Traditions,  probably the most referenced lacto preservation book out there (due in part to the salsa recipe, which I have not yet tried), I became fascinated with what people are fermenting and wondered - is there anything you can't ferment?  Plus, if you've ever watched Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern, you are well aware of the fermented products he tries on a very regular basis.  A lot are dug up out of the ground and most are said to have a cheesy quality.  Yes, cheesy.

So between reading these books and checking out many-a-blog, I have seen comments or recipes that made reference to things such as fermented mashed sweet potato, potato cheese, fermented tahini, forgotten nut cheese at the back of the fridge, dehydrated lacto fermented veg made into chips, etc.

I also recently got into reading some raw food forums and there is quite a bit of talk about this Russell guy who has an ebook and does classes on fermented nut cheese and the Dr. Cow vegan nut cheese that apparently kicks ass - but is very expensive.

So as a result of all this random information, even though I am not vegan or raw, I became obsessed with making aged, fermented nut cheese.  I mean, it's super healthy and you can do cool stuff with it, and I just get obsessed with things like this - cause that's the way I am.   So I just did it.  I made nut cheese - the way you do in any one of a million recipes that you can find online or in a vegan or raw food book, added an inoculant to get the fermentation going,  aged it and ate it and I didn't die.  In fact, I almost had a heart attack cause it was so freaking good.  Like super sharp spreadable cheese.   No joke.  And it makes sense.  I am, in essence, making cheese.  Or fermented fish paste, or fermented African yam, or tempe or black bean paste or whatever pasty, proteiny thing that is out there that people ferment, then eat.  And a lot of it is described as cheesy. 

So here is my recipe - with some further explanations here and there - so it's gonna look more like another paragraph than a recipe.  But if you're interested in this for any reason I highly recommend that you read on and try it yourself!

Aged, Fermented Nut Cheese


Organic Raw Nuts (I usually use cashews but i've heard macadamias and pine nuts are very good)
water
inoculant (whey, or miso, or lacto veg brine, or rejuvelac)
salt

It really is best to use organic and very important to use raw nuts.  Use whatever amount of nuts you want.  I usually go with about 2 cups.  Soak the nuts in twice the amount of water for 12-24 hours.  They become very soft and rubbery when soaked and will blend much easier.  Drained soaked nuts and then rinse a few times until water runs clear.  I usually soak them in a quart mason jar so after I drain them I put them back into the jar and then cover then over again with clean water.  This all goes into a blender.  I have not used a food processor for this but have read that you can.  Into the blender you also add your inoculant and about a teaspoon of salt.  So here is some more lacto info.  Old world lacto fermentation is actually done without the addition of any inoculant.  Everything in the world is covered with the lacto bacteria that does the fermentation (including your hands), so whatever veg you are using is usually not washed (ideally it came from your own garden) and so the bacteria is there and just takes off.  Salt is added to keep other, undesirable microbes at bay until the lacto bacteria gets a foothold - which is usually a couple days.  At that point the acid level of the product rises (it is a bi-product of the lacto bacteria), which prevents virtually all other undesirable microbes from growing - including botulinum.  Some people use an inoculant - which is some product that already has lots of lacto bacteria in it so that lacto fermentation is assured.  In something like this nut cheese I would say that it is pretty important.  You really do want to make sure that everything is going in the right direction.  I use milk kefir whey as my inoculant.  It is the clear liquid that is left behind when you strain kefir - or yogurt.  You can also use miso or you can make your own rejuvelac - but I've never done that so I can't comment.

So....in your blender is...nuts, water, inoculant, salt.  Blend for a minute or so - long enough for everything to liquify.  I've read that some cottage cheese like chunks are ok - but I make mine smooth.  Then I take a large mesh strainer and line it with a cotton dish towel.  I put it over a bowl that it can rest in without touching the bottom and pour the liquid in.  Immediately liquid will come out the bottom of the strainer into the bowl.  Just let it sit like this (cover it over with part of the towel so that dust or whatever doesn't get into it) in a warm spot for one or two days.  I put mine either next to my food dehydrator (when it is turned on) or next to the wood stove.  Like with yogurt making, I have heard of other places people use - on top of the fridge, on a radiator, in a gas stove with the pilot light on, in a crock pot set on warm.  You need to find your own warm place.  Somewhere in the 70-90 degree range.  Some recipes I've seen have it sit out one day.  Some say two.  I do two days just cause I know that with other lacto veg items you let those sit out for as many as 4 or 5 days to make sure the fermentation is really going - then move it to a cooler spot.  In this case the cooler spot is the fridge.  At this point the strained nut cheese (which can be eaten at any point along the way) will be sort of fluffy and kind of dry on the surface.  This is good.  So scoop it out of the dish towel contraption and into a storage vessel.  I use a pint mason jar.  I press down as I am filling so that the large air pockets are forced out and then I use another old world technique.  I pour a thin layer of olive oil on the top to cover it completely.  The function of this is to keep an air tight seal on your lacto fermentation...station.  Lacto fermentation is an anaerobic activity - it works in an environment without air.  The oil provides a perfect air tight barrier.  Yay!

So you can let it sit, in the fridge, for a few days and try it - or a week - or a month.  One very good thing to have under your belt is having smelled lacto fermented veg at some point in your life.  It is a distinctive smell and you will know that you have done it right because of the smell.  For a long time I read comments from people on fermentation forums and yahoo groups that would say - you will know if the jar has gone bad and you shouldn't eat it by the smell.  You will know.  And I always wondered what that knowing smell was.  I like descriptions.  Give me info.  I want to know what the hell you are talking about.  Then, lo and behold one day I opened a jar of green beans that had gone very very wrong.  Boy oh boy did I know that there was no way in hell that there was anything good in that jar.  Do you know what it smelled like?  Shit.  Literally it smelled like I was holding a jar of shit in my hand.  Looked like green beans, smelled like shit.  So now you know.  You will know.  Lacto fermentation smell on the other hand is (no joke) like a breeze of fresh air, and slightly acidic.  I'm totally being serious.  WhenEVER I open a jar of anything lacto fermented I immediately smell it and it gives me the feeling of fresh, breezy, tangy air.  There's a big difference between that and shit.

The thing that I have found is, the longer it sits the more like sharp cheese it is.  Now - I have only been doing this for a month or so - so I have not experimented into the months of fermentation.  But I would - if I could stop eating it.  I don't know how the first cheese makers stopped themselves from eating the cheeses long enough to get 12 year aged cheddar.  I guess if you've got a lot of cows and a lot of milk...

Anywho...that's my story.  Feel free to blast me out of the water with your doubting looks and scowling disposition.  I don't really care.  I'm just so psyched it works!

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Home Sweet Home...A Tale of Two Sisters

Ok - since I actually had someone not related to me leave a comment recently I made up my mind to do some actual, real posting action (but also so as not to appear like the laziest blogger that ever was - oh, too late).

Besides that I have started to hear chanting outside my bedroom window coming from the throngs of readers that have gathered around my house, begging me to thrill them, even just a little bit, with my vegetable-soup-like-mix of bad grammar, spelling errors, chapter-long sentences and edgy, razor-sharp wit that could shave the hairs right off the legs of the tiny spider that is crawling up your leg.  HA!  Anyway - this here is one more addition to my horror dream house theme - one of the many I still have back logged on my computer.  So if you wish real hard and say some sort of weird incantation - who knows?!? - I may start doing all this on a more regular basis again.  So without further bla bla bla.....




The house that is featured in A Tale of Two Sister is just stunning.  It has a weathered, beach-mansion feel on the outside and a super elegantly creepy atmosphere on the inside - and is tastefully decorated to boot!

We'll start off with the fabulous entry of this really interesting house.  I absolutely love the dark wood trims and whatnot that occupy almost every square inch of this house.  From the outside, the house looks very nice and beachy and homey (albeit mansion-like), but on the inside you are immediately transported to creepytown.  With the combo of dark trims and low lighting this house just screams Ah! - but in a really beautiful sort of way.



AH!



AH!


AHHH!

I won't be going to the bathroom in the middle of the night in this house, thank you very much.  But that's not much of a price to pay when you consider this absolutely gorgeous kitchen/dining room combo.

Once again we see the dark wood trim and french doors, but there are also lots of other cool colors and patterns and textures going on here.



The details throughout the house are amazing - like that cool chandelier and the patterned rice paper french doors.



In every room there are tons of cool antiques and knick-knacks and the wallpaper is amazing - but especially in wallpaper in the dining room (which also happens to the the background in the title sequence).




The blue metal kitchen unit is too freaking cool for words



and the mother flippin red tile floor - OMG!




I think we all know what happens here - so we'll just swiftly move right along...

The incredible patterns and textures throughout the house are just amazing.



Everything has a heavily layered antique look and all of the fabric from the rugs to the bed spreads are either brocade or patterned in some way- so cool!



Even in the inky darkness you can see the details


and the color combinations


and the interesting accessories and fixtures.

Even on the exterior of the house there is so much going on when you look real close.


Check out the combo of weathered wood and finished wood and white tile and ornate bench and funky old switch-plates and the delicate but ornate curtains.  The amount of stuff going on in this house is mesmerizing.

There is also an ornate gate that will probably only serve to look gorgeous and keep out anyone who might be trying to help you escape from the truly creepy ghosts.  Oh well.



I know what you're thinking, and before you start whining or pointing your boney little finger at anything I'll say it out loud...there is no cellar in the Two Sisters house.  :(  Yes, that does make Craftypants Carol kinda sad.  I mean there could be a cellar that they just don't show in the movie - one that is so cool and nifty that they just had to keep it to themselves - like a really cool, dark, damp secret.  But when taking into consideration that many Koreans bury their kimchi in the ground I think we can probably assume that this little outdoor area is where Craftypants Carol would be storing her canned goods.



BUT...this house does have a feature that sort of makes up for the lack of cellar space...



A really really big greenhouse!  How cool is that?  I mean if one were to just focus on growing ones greens - napa cabbage and bok choy for example - in this monstrous greenhouse and then one were to bury the resulting mix in the ground and waited a good while - what more would one really need?  I mean this could essentially be the more health-conscious "spa" version of all of the Home, Sweet Homes because you not only have a place to grow your leafy greens - but you also have fields of wheat or something in which to prance around in.


Actually, there are not only the fields of wheat and such - but the house is surrounded by rolling wooded hills and sits right on a freaking lake.


So you could get in a good hike and swim and maybe even catch a fish or two to add to your healthy meal before retiring for a sleepless, creeped-out night.


You know that's what I'd be doing all night, anyway.

So, to recap the super ultra pros of this house we find...

1.  Decor so cool, it kinda hurts
2.  Kitchen and dining room that you would never want to leave
3.  Huge greenhouse...um hello!  Does anyone else have that to claim?
4.  Wood, lake, isolation - oh and a fancy, sturdy gate to keep all the ghosts in.
5.  Kimchi buried in your back yard

So, with some minor lifestyle adjustments with learning how to preserve in the tried and true Korean below ground method and the never sleeping again thing, I think this house is a definite contender.



All Imdb says about the filming location is some really long Korean name in South Korea - which is fine by me.  I'm not super picky when it comes to beautiful places in far off lands.  Ok - maybe I am a little.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Momma's Got A Brand New Mug!




Am I one lucky lady or what?!?!  Because of my fancy guessing footwork and unmatched skills in passing on recipes, I won my very own Kindertrauma mug!!!  You can go back in time and follow along with the edge-of-your-seat madness to witness how this feat was pulled off HERE.  I absolutely LOVE how appropriate it is that I won this mug in a horror kitchen themed Funhouse.  

Here is a shot of my beloved mug and the Kindertrauma website - just so you can see how aesthetically pleasing it is for me each morning while I drink my hot beverage and gander at the days kinder-viewings.  




So, anyway.  You're probably asking "Why no crafty posts lately, Craftypants Lady?"  "What gives?"

I dunno.  I keep thinking of things to post - like the dehydrated crackers I've been making lately, or the other Valentine gift toppers I put in my Etsy store, or the nifty xmas dish towel I have been embroidering for myself.  And do I tell you, my loyal readers about these crafty goings on?  No.  I blather on and on about some mug I won because I guessed the name of a horror movie.

You may have already figured this out - I think I just did this very second - that my blog has big a crush on Kindertrauma.  Oh no!  If Kindertrauma finds out do you think they'll make fun of me in the hall and pass notes to the other horror websites about what a dork my blog is?  I hope not.  Best to lay low for a while and quietly sip from my Kindertrauma mug in a dark closet.